Lat and his Bruthazzz
...is where we're at. Everyone say hi to Mike!
"But Soviet Master, you'se uh-saying I coulda have mah carrots. Munch munch munch."
Eek, that's bad. Any more of this flippant racism on my part and I might almost be, ummm, Eastern European. We've heard the word "nigger" used here so commonly it's even offending our un-PC ears. And you wonder why the Riga Medical Museum gets away with exhibits like this:
Even if she weren't a headless plastic bust of a woman, there's no way THIS broad is getting preggers:
Nothing like Ye Olde Medical Museum to get our knockers all knotty. Check out this nurse. It's a kid's drawing, and given the detail I'm unfortunately willing to bet the kid has first-hand experience with riding the black horse.
A serious highlight of our trip, this museum delivered in some serious ways, except the most important - THE TWO HEADED STUFFED DOG EXHIBIT WAS CLOSED. Apparently, some Soviet mad-veterianian made it his life goal to graft limbs onto other animals. We got no visual proof of this, so fuckkk. Luckily, I made the best of that shit. Check the enthuaism.
IRON LUNG! ALRIGHT!
ANTIQUE DENTAL APPARATI! TURBO AWESOME.
Safe to say, I got a little excited. When I lay down, it shoots into space.
Luckily, Mike was able to point to a willing orifice for my "Soviet Space Pod," as I call it.
That's what bros are for. Wax Sculptures of the World, Unite and Bend Over.
"Huhuhuh, hey baby, you ever wax a gay off before?"
Homo say what?
Hahahahaha get it? U iz a faggg.
Above pictures are from the War Museum, in the old ramparts of Riga. Some cannonballs were still lodged there, and the inside had some depressing info about the fate of Latvia during the WWII years. That, and the Occupation Museum, kind of hammered home the point how shittily these small Baltic states have been treated by the US (ignored), Britain (ignored), and particularly Germany (killed, subjected) and RUSSIA (ad infinitum).
Lemme say that again...
I told Mike that it's unfortunate for these countries that they don't have oil, or the US would care more about them. Mike's retort: "I think it's a good thing these countries don't have oil, or the US would care more about them." Dig it.
Which is a shame, because Riga can be pretty lovely. Very, lovely actually.
I can't say that this was one of our favorite cities, but it's still a lovely place - a nice mix of old and new, better food than most other places, a nice view of the river. More people should want a part of it, like Switzerland.
Especially the park to the west of the city, Gauja National Park. I loved it, flat out. Mike wasn't as enthused about it as I was, despite what this picture may suggest. He's just hoping for a Mayhem show in the fallen castle.
Mike inside of a big hole. Look, he has a crotch!
Me at the threshold of a big hole.
Castle ruins, plenty of 'em, littering the side of a hill in a river valley. On a less-jokey note, one of the highlights so far was climbing up these stairs on the side of the hill, tired as shit, while the leaves blew off of trees. When I got sight of the top of the trail, there was this abstract statue park in a clearing on top. It was windy and lovely.