Friday, October 06, 2006

MOSCOW

YO SUP MY NIGGAZ.

OK, so we are in Moscow now, and Moscow certainly doesn't dissapoint. Holy fucking shit. We took an overnight ass kicking cold war style soviet train from St. Petersburg to Moscow, and our ragged asses arrived at 6 in the morning. We're in our Hostle now and gettin' HOSTILE, y'all.

Today we went this awesome places called the ВДНХ. I have no idea how to say it in Russian (it's an acronym), but it is basically this massive 2 kilometer exposition that Stallin built to celebrate the economic prosperity of the CCCP. Since the cold war is over and all, it's turned into something of a giant park-meets-shopping-mall, with all the pavilions dedicated to agriculture and auto manufacturing now housing cell phone stores and nightclubs. Still, the gaud survives.

For the full perestroika experience, you have to imagine really bad techno playing in the background. They had speakers all over the place blasting some radio station, treating our ears to sweet techno remixes of "If you're going to San Francisco", "Out of Touch" by Hall and Oates, and "Electric Avenue" by Eddie Grant (??). All they do is take the hook, loop it a bit, add a shitty beat, and maybe throw in a little bit of filtering. Poof! Russian number 1 hit. I want to meet this guy who came up with the idea of recycling hooks from all these songs that they missed out on back when the Berlin Wall was up. This shit is FRESH YO to these Russkies, they have no idea they are listening to music that was already uncool when they were born.

Take a good look at the statue up top. Yep.



Some opulent pavilions or something.





There were pavilions dedicated to the former Soviet Republics. Most of them had the signs removed, but at least one remains:



Nearby the planet of tres gauche is the Soviet Cosmonaut museum. Unfortunately it was closed for construction/rewriting of history. Nevertheless, kind readers, we do have a photo that clearly shows Soviet prowess appying KY and gently gliding into the virgin womb of where-no-man-has-gone-before:



Tomorrow, red square!

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