Monday, January 22, 2007


Sup doodz. Sorry for all the holdups. I'm in Bratislava right now, trying to find a German who wants to torture and kill me for 10 grand. I'm in an internet cafe and they're playing Starship. Knee Deep in the Hoopla, indeed. I've been moving quite quickly, on a hurry to get to the Ukraine. Tonight I head back into the former Soviet Union. In the meantime...FYROM (The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia)

After the previously detailed Albanian transit adventures, I arrived in Ohrid, Macedonia. Ohrid is on the shore of a lake. Lake Ohrid, natch. Let's hear it for logic. Lake Ohrid is really fucking ancient, really fucking deep, really fucking cold, surround by fucking tall mountains, and really fucking popular with fucking tourists like my fucking self fuck fuck. Because it's fucking beautiful. Whoever said my prose wasn't fucking varied?

Anyway, I arrived and met up with this dapper gentleman:

That's Al, a Peace Corps volunteer who cooked me yummy pork and told me all the awesome places to check in Ohrid. He said that his job was teaching Macedonians to be capitalists. Let's hear for capitalism!

Ohrid is a purty place. With a purty lake and other purty stuff. Purty:

All the purty stuff is in the old part of Ohrid, now a mostly residential area situated on a hill, surrounded by old walls:

Big hill makes for purty pictures. Purty:

There's some boss ruins. Like St. Samuel's fortress, which was for defending his domain and staging Manowar concerts:

Then there's the ancient ampetheater, for Ye Olde Rente and Ye Olde Founde of Mufic and Ye Olde Phantome of ye Olde Opera and such:

Here's the Old Plane Tree. It's famous or something, but it's not really a big deal. Nevertheless, Lukahsenko ruthlessly documents:

And then there's this Pagoda thang:

Which protects the ruins of an old Roman church. Some dude was walking on these, but I was too scared to take a picture with him in it, since he looked fucking evil. So I waited for him to leave. And Zounds!


Ohrid has 365 churches. One for each day of the year! Luckily, I got here before the Norweigan tourists showed up and started burning them down. Some highlights:

The Church of St. Clement:

St. Jovan at Kaneo:


Then, of course, there's the lake.

Sure, it's just a lake. But sometimes, the dwarves that live in the mountains come out and things get magical.

Ansel Adams can blow me. But only if I let him.

Then there's the real city of Ohrid, a mess of tourists and souvenir shops. I stayed clear, but here's to the memories:

And it looks purty at night. Everything in Ohrid is purty. Purty:



At 6:24 PM, Anonymous Xha Temja said...

All the shit that this motherfucker wrote here is true, but there is something else he should write. My name is XHA TEME and when I was 18 years old I met a beautiful hore in a HOTEL in the center of Tirana. It was December. This lady was the mother of the motherfucker that wrote that shitt about the albanian countryside. Well. You can understand what happened next. After I paid the lady for her services I asked her about her family and she told me that she was gone far away from home because of a trauma she had when she was told that her baby will be a homosecual and as it will grow up maby will become a mother killer because of the mental problems. So she decided to run away from home. That was the first day in her life she decided to hook up just to make some money so she can pay for the trip. But tho money wasnt inuff so she decided to do it again and this was the begining af a new profession for her. Now she was a hooker and it was not that bad she was told. Very soon she learnead to mix work with pleasure. She started traveling from place to place and she enjoyed haveing sex everywhere. The destiny brought her in albania where she learned to have real sex with real mans. Everything in Albania was sooo BIG. So she decided to stay there forever. This was the reason that made this motherfucker come in albania. Dont misunderstand me. He didnt came here in Albania to find his mother. She is dead about a while ago. He came here to enjoy what he was told his mother enjoyed too. But everyone knew his history so it wasnt that easy for hem to survive in a country like this. Anyway. This was not the reason he decided ta walk away from here like a scared rabbit. The real reason was that he heard from some paesants that here in albania we kill homosexuals. Well. You can understand that this is not true because if it was like this he should be dead and baryed wright nou. It is not true too that we dont speak english here in Albania because I can asure you that every albanian speaks very well Italian, Greek, English and surely their native language what means that here in albania we speak 4 languages. If you want to watch the real albania you can take a look at one of my webbsites.
Try this.

The next time You come in Albania BE A MAN. If You do it I promise I will fuck you right in the ass.


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