Friday, February 02, 2007


Bosnia is so fucking awesome that this is what roadside motels look like:

Moving on...

Welcome to Banja Luka, capital of The Republic Srpska, 49% of Bosnia. After the war, Bosnia was divided into two administrative entities: Bosnia and Herzegovnia and Republic Serpska. Croats and Bosniaks make up the majority in BH, and Serbs the majority in the RS. There's a lot of complicated political stuff that I really don't understand, but the country maintains a single military, a single currency (but both entities get to print different versions of each bill), no internal borders, and is basically a single country. Except that it's not, there's a triumvirate presidency, with 2 presidents from BH and 1 from RS and this is complicated and stuff. And BORING.

The word on the street is that Banja Luka has a seriously distorted gender ratio. Anywhere from 4 to 1 female/male to 9 to 1 depending on who you ask. However, I think this is a LIE. I can't find any census data the support these conclusions. One person told me that the ratio is fucked up because of the war. Another person told me to ratio was always fucked up and that the war made it, "better". Basically, everyone has as different take on Banja Luka, but they all agree on one thing...lots of bitches in heat, yo.

I was only there for 20 hours, but I don't buy it. Looks pretty 50/50 on the street:

Wait, there's not a single dude in that picture...oh fuck, I'm stupid! I wanna go back! It's cold in the Ukraine!


Being manly, of course.

Speaking of manly, here are cool people eating breakfast.

In the center is Aleksandr, my couchsurfing host for one night. Dude was super cool, was working for Radio Europa in Banja Luka, but not broadcasting propaganda. How about a better look at that food?

Awww yeah. Now the money shot:

That's, well, French toast. And the finest meats and cheeses in all the land. And Kefir and spreads and stuff. When dudes asked me if we had the toast in egg in America, they were somewhat suprised that we think it's French. Because everything awesome comes from Bosnia, obviously.

I would have liked to spent more time in Banja Luka, especially because these guys were super cool. Living with Alex are brother and a friend and I'M REALLY SORRY YOU WERE COOL BUT I FORGOT YOUR NAMES I'M DUMB DUMB DUMB.

On the food porn front, Alex cooked me this when I got there. Best dinner ever:

That's some eggs, with pieces of some of the darn tastiest meat I've ever had. And of course a nice piece of bread that was better than anything in America. And fine meats and cheeses.

I spent barely a day in Banja Luka. It's not exactly a tourist paradise, but seems like a nice city, full of young people and BITCHES. Tourism wrap up:

The "castle":


Mr. Town Center Clock:

Stopped at the time of an earthquake that fucked up the city.


I have to say, I totally support giant chessboards.

And some really good Cevapi, as recommended by host Alex:

That's ground beef patty thingies on a super-roll. It's totally delicious. Eating Cevapi is like sucking the dick of God.

And that's it. There's an art museum but I didn't go. All in all, Banja Luka seems like a totally cool place to live--there's a lot of young people and it feels like a city on the prowl. Nut it's not exactly drowning in tourist potential. Alex said Banja Luka has a bit of a complex because it will be forever overshadowed by Sarajevo. Which is probably true. Sarajevo fuckers get the fucking embassies, ballaz. But Banja Luka will forever have my heart. And my cock.


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