Saturday, February 17, 2007


Mike here, back in the USA. I've been back for a few days, and it's certainly fucked up. The whole thing feels like a dream. I'm suddenly back home with the parents and it feels like I never left, like I'm back in the same place with maybe a slightly different outlook on life and a serious sour cream habit.

It's quite strange. A few days ago I was sleeping on floors in cramped flats, now I have a whole house to myself since my parents and brother are in Japan. Steve has moved out, like a responsible adult. And I guess I should be looking for a job. But I want to finish this website first, however at this point it feels like I'm a journalist reporting on things that happened to someone else. There are two new entries below. And another maybe 10 or so to come. Yikes.

Being back here is bizarre. It's funny to hear people complain about the roads not being plowed well. There are things that I wont complain about for awhile. Lines, potholes, snowy and icy roads, uncomfortable beds, small spaces, running out of hot water, gas prices, power outages, mean police officers, the employment market, wages, graffiti, slow buses and trains, food prices, war (at least it's somewhere else, not in our homes), people who don't speak English, and the idea of something being 'inconvenient'.

On the other hand, I'm disgusted that the most powerful country in the world can't produce a decent tomato. I went to the supermarket (which was traumatic to begin with), and nothing is green or red. It's all orange and pale. I had to make a trip to the mall (to get a new phone battery), and it was intense. I've always had an aversion to shopping malls, but now I don't know if I'll ever be able to casually set foot in one again. After going I felt like I wanted to shower, to somehow get the filth and guilt off my skin. Maybe we have a little too much money and a little too much space. We certainly have too much gasoline. It's screwing up our priorities in life. Maybe things would be different if we all lived in concrete housing projects. I can say, without hesitation, that the vast majority of people I met seemed much happier than your average American, even if they complained more about problems in their life. PREACH PREACH PREACH JUDGE JUDGE JUDGE, that's what I do best!

Also, during the course of our adventures I don't think we ever had a train or bus that was more than 15 minutes late, and they were on time 95% of the time. Why can't we do this?

As each day passes, I feel more and more 'normal'. Everything was overwhelming when I first arrived-the street lights, the parking lot, the tool booths, the highway (gigantic!), even having a room with a bed. Now it's starting to feel routine, and my memories of the emotions and feelings I had upon return are at least 50% gone, and will surely be 90% gone in a few days. I hope I can hold onto that 10% for as long as possible.

In the meantime, I've decided that I need to leave America for at least a year, maybe longer. Not to travel, but to live. Life in America for the average person is something bizarre. It's too easy, people don't cook and our cars are too big. It's almost a parody of existence. Especially in the suburbs, where your big hardships are sharing a room with a sibling, not being 'popular', and trying to find someone over 21 to buy you alcohol. Welcome to the American Dream. I need to get away from it for awhile, until I get to the point where I either appreciate it or am completely disgusted by it and abandon it forever. Not to mention, I've decided that being monolingual is disgraceful and lazy, so I'm determined to learn another language. Russian is the language for the time being, but that can change depending on where I end up. Anybody want to gevarom some paruski? I think I made a grammar mistake. And do any foreigners reading this know of any jobs that I might possibly be qualified for? I'm looking...

More blogging to come over the next few days. With more pictures of me acting like a moron. That's what I do best.



At 6:17 PM, Anonymous Xha Temja said...

All the shit that this motherfucker wrote here is true, but there is something else he should write. My name is XHA TEME and when I was 18 years old I met a beautiful hore in a HOTEL in the center of Tirana. It was December. This lady was the mother of the motherfucker that wrote that shitt about the albanian countryside. Well. You can understand what happened next. After I paid the lady for her services I asked her about her family and she told me that she was gone far away from home because of a trauma she had when she was told that her baby will be a homosecual and as it will grow up maby will become a mother killer because of the mental problems. So she decided to run away from home. That was the first day in her life she decided to hook up just to make some money so she can pay for the trip. But tho money wasnt inuff so she decided to do it again and this was the begining af a new profession for her. Now she was a hooker and it was not that bad she was told. Very soon she learnead to mix work with pleasure. She started traveling from place to place and she enjoyed haveing sex everywhere. The destiny brought her in albania where she learned to have real sex with real mans. Everything in Albania was sooo BIG. So she decided to stay there forever. This was the reason that made this motherfucker come in albania. Dont misunderstand me. He didnt came here in Albania to find his mother. She is dead about a while ago. He came here to enjoy what he was told his mother enjoyed too. But everyone knew his history so it wasnt that easy for hem to survive in a country like this. Anyway. This was not the reason he decided ta walk away from here like a scared rabbit. The real reason was that he heard from some paesants that here in albania we kill homosexuals. Well. You can understand that this is not true because if it was like this he should be dead and baryed wright nou. It is not true too that we dont speak english here in Albania because I can asure you that every albanian speaks very well Italian, Greek, English and surely their native language what means that here in albania we speak 4 languages. If you want to watch the real albania you can take a look at one of my webbsites.
Try this.

The next time You come in Albania BE A MAN. If You do it I promise I will fuck you right in the ass.


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